I'll Take It.

Two months ago, I posted about my accident that changed my reality, it's here if you're interested in the recap.  Today I want to post about something interesting that came out of it.

This accident taught me that when certain abilities are taken away, it makes me question who I actually am.  In the month after the accident, I wasn't able to be a mom, or a photographer, or even read a good book, or crochet a fun project.  Check off my top 4 ways I spend my time.  My relationship with my husband dwindled to merely suggestions on who can take care of the kids next.  And the worst part was that I wondered, What's left?  Who am I when all of that is stripped away?  Because that's not fluff.  It's a huge part of who I am.

And I found I really liked what was left.  I am a woman.  I am a daughter of God.  I am brave.  I cry when I'm scared, like horribly with all kinds of snot and tears, but I hold still and let them put the needle in anyway.  I am strong.  I can be hurt, badly.  And I can also heal. 

I am not the 25 year old that had been stuck in my head for many years.  And while I'd love her body again, I really, really love the woman I've turned into. 

To make sure I really felt that way, and wasn't just trying to convince myself of it, I hired Michelle Jones, of Michelle Unscripted, to document the Now.  Because in a photo, the context is stripped away.  There's no "Mom" or "Wife" or "Photographer" title.  There's only me.  Take it or leave it.

I'll take it.  With gratitude.