22 October 2013

I'll Take It.

Two months ago, I posted about my accident that changed my reality, it's here if you're interested in the recap.  Today I want to post about something interesting that came out of it.

This accident taught me that when certain abilities are taken away, it makes me question who I actually am.  In the month after the accident, I wasn't able to be a mom, or a photographer, or even read a good book, or crochet a fun project.  Check off my top 4 ways I spend my time.  My relationship with my husband dwindled to merely suggestions on who can take care of the kids next.  And the worst part was that I wondered, What's left?  Who am I when all of that is stripped away?  Because that's not fluff.  It's a huge part of who I am.

And I found I really liked what was left.  I am a woman.  I am a daughter of God.  I am brave.  I cry when I'm scared, like horribly with all kinds of snot and tears, but I hold still and let them put the needle in anyway.  I am strong.  I can be hurt, badly.  And I can also heal. 

I am not the 25 year old that had been stuck in my head for many years.  And while I'd love her body again, I really, really love the woman I've turned into. 

To make sure I really felt that way, and wasn't just trying to convince myself of it, I hired Michelle Jones, of Michelle Unscripted, to document the Now.  Because in a photo, the context is stripped away.  There's no "Mom" or "Wife" or "Photographer" title.  There's only me.  Take it or leave it.

I'll take it.  With gratitude.


  1. The real (wo)man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection. ~Thomas Paine

    Thanks for sharing Elena. I really enjoyed reading this.

  2. This is incredible. I have to say that I am truly impressed at how you have handled this storm.

  3. You are an inspiration. Very beautiful photos. :)

  4. What a beautiful post - I love what you wrote and the pictures are gorgeous!

  5. U r stunning!! and written beautifully!!